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Spiel monkey

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spiel monkey

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This will certainly be interesting to see. Posted by Spiel Monkey at 2: Thursday, September 27, Purging Precious Time. Intelligence and the ability to think on your feet is not something that most foreign banks expect of their employees.

Or let me put it this way. Intelligence and the ability to think on your feet is not appreciated by the seniors. It tends to expose their incompetence.

What makes it worse is the fact that people spend days and often even weeks putting together a single PPT. PPTs should henceforth be referred to as Purging Precious Time as one of my seniors who has quit the industry used to say.

Now you tell me how many hours of precious time might have been purged. At least , man-hours per bank assuming an average time of four hours spent per PPT.

The escapist answer to that is that the Reserve Bank of India has not allowed banks to expand fast enough.

The answer to that question, my friend, is blowing in the wind The answer to that question will be put down on PPT and presented to you in a few days.

Got to go now. My boss has asked me to put together a PPT on why some of the members of my team are sauntering into office at 9.

Wednesday, September 19, Loan Shark Subbu. Whats that they say? People who live in glass houses must never throw stones at others?

Now, how different does that make them from the cut-throat money-lenders that the RBI hopes will be eliminated as more and more banks address the banking needs of this segment?

Lending at such rates is not just criminal. It demands immediate intervention on the part of the Reserve Bank of India. Posted by Spiel Monkey at 4: I read this book over the weekend but only because a friend of mine from ABN Amro recommended it to me.

For starters, the title is wrong English. It should have been "If God Were a Banker. Something I have woefully realised over the last four years.

That said, I must admit the book is a racy read, the bloopers not withstanding. Bankers will find it awfully easy to identify with the sleaze at New York International Bank, or should that have been Citibank?

Sundeep Srivastava bears a striking resemblance to a certain Mr Sarup. Is Joseph Fernandes Victor Menezes? Is Chetan Bindra Ajay Banga? Is Aditya Rao Jerry Rao?

Is Kailash Advani Nanoo Pamnani? And is Swaminathan P S Jayakumar? I als hear that the boys at Citibank are scared to be seen with a copy of the book on office premises.

In his quest for momentary fame, he may have shot his career in the head. Posted by Spiel Monkey at 5: Until two years ago, Retail Banking businesses were the white elephants at foreign banks.

Large teams, high marketing spends and an expandng branch network were a massive drain on profitability - the average break-even period for any retail banking business is years.

The Retail Bank burnt it. That may fast be changing. Retail now accounts for a sizeable portion of the overall loan book at all foreign banks, operating profits are growing at a far faster clip than other businesses and the rising customer numbers never fail to suprise the Gora Kuththas who keep popping into the country on all-expenses-paid junkets.

Eat your hearts out, punks!! Retail is finally King. Monday, September 10, Why Retail Banking? Well, its pretty simple. The nerds that slogged at B-school have all landed the top jobs - investment banking, private equity and hedge funds.

And this was four years ago, mind you. So here I am. Living a life of second best, getting used to the tight-assed wimps I have for colleagues.

Imagine greeting someone in the morning with, "Good morning, Arjun. Be sure to sign up to use this feature.

Join these two brave monkeys while they jump over gaps and avoid dangerous critters in this adventurous platformer game.

This monkey loves fruit, especially bananas and grapes. Help him burst all of the bubbles in this match 3 puzzle game.

Each one contains a tasty treat! Press the arrow keys at precisely the right moment and see the monkey dance! These two monkeys love bouncing almost as much as they love bananas.

Join them on another crazy adventure. Up in the sky! Jimmy Bananas needs to reach the finish in a spectacular race.

There are 8 different racers and 5 unique worlds! Make these sad monkeys happy in the fourth part of this amazingly fun game!

This mad monkey is getting ready to smash his way through an entire city. Care to join him? You can help him crush buildings, cars and more.

See how long you can survive while the giant beast fights to fill up his rampage meter in this action game.

Try to pop as many balloons as possible using the darts you are given each level. Glow Monkey is on the loose and wreaking havoc.

Spiel monkey - something and

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Spiel Monkey Video

Itchy Monkey — game overview at SPIEL '18

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Got the screenshot, unbelievable xD. Poopiebut over a month ago Im no liar. Poopiebut over a month ago I got Each of the Big Four have their own positives and negatives.

So without getting into rankings of any sort, I will list out the good and bad aspects of each of the Big Four. Standard Chartered Bank - The top foreign retail bank in the country.

The bank encourages cross-country movement and very often even moves employees to overseas markets on expatriate packages. This is important since it does not mean a climbdown in quality of living for the employee moving abroad.

However, the consumer bank is currently fighting its own demons - cleaning up the retail book for some business decisions gone wrong.

The retail bank has been known to be a very political environment not as bad as the corporate bank, though , but things have changed significantly after Neeraj Swaroop joined a couple of years ago as India CEO.

Citibank - By far the best place to be if you want to learn the ropes. Has brought in some very solid best practices and products to retail banking in India, be it the credit card, back-end processing of retail transactions or even effective data mining and tracking of customer behaviour.

Not the best paymaster but things are changing, slowly though. Was a very political place while Sarvesh Sarup headed the retail bank but now that he is gone, the peace is coming back.

The only foreign bank that gives all its employees Saturdays off. Career-wise, though, the place is a no go unless you decide to hang in there till the day you die.

There is very little incentive to move into jobs overseas postings are hardly ever on expatriate terms and the openings too are few and far between.

But importantly, the bank has a very warm environemt where people treat each other with respect and dignity and thats something that to many people these days, counts for a lot.

A good place to learn the insides out of retail banking. ABN Amro Bank - After years of confused signals from its head office, the bank got its act together by end and began firing away on all cylinders.

And just when the business began gaining traction, comes the news of Royal Bank of Scotland taking it over. The Dutch bank is a kind employer and posts promising employees to interesting markets.

But at this stage, it is advisable to stay away at least until September by which time the complete takeover by RBS would have been complete and the heads that would have to roll would have, well, Posted by Spiel Monkey at Friday, November 2, The Colour of Money.

Honestly, I do not know anything outside of retail banking so if I had to give you some sense of what the colour of money in banking is, I could only speak for Retail Banking.

Entry Level - Rs lakh p. Get the hell out!! You will find that the pay bands get wider as you move up. This is a factor of performance which when translated into more simple terms means the speed at which your pay moves up is directly proportionate to your proficiency in kissing ass.

The stock options that the Big Four dole out are fairly arbitrary. This is a restricted stock option and when you get it are told not to tell anyone that you have stock in the bank.

ABN and Citibank too give out stock but nothing to excite you enough. HSBC, however takes the cake. It seems most employees at the bank made money on the stock through exchange rate gains than on any actual appreciation of the stock.

Hope this helps when you make your decision on whether or not to join a phoren bank. The point is I bumped into this guy who happened to be a frend of a friend of a friend and we got talking.

The moment the bloke hears I work for a foreign bank, he wants to know what I typically do over the weekend, where I hang out, what car I drive, where I stay etc etc.

The poor prick thinks my bank loads me up so heavy every month-end that I spend like a rock star. More amusingly, he wants to know how he can get into a Marketing function at my bank.

He wants to chuck up his job at HLL simply because he thinks there is a whole lot of dosh being doled out at foreign banks. To have told him the truth about foreign bank pay-scales would have meant: The truth is, foreign retail banks were the best pay-masters until about four years ago, but since then, the IT and media sector have raced ahead.

Today, they outdo foreign banks in pay by leap-years, primarily through generous stock options. Everyone talks of the huge bonuses foreign banks pay but fact is that it is only the Investment Banking, Global Markets and Private Equity guys that take home the fantabulous bonuses you keep hearing of.

Retail Banking at foreign banks was the place to be until a few years ago. Now you take a call. Is this the place you want to be?

I would think not. In my next post, I will give you some sense of what pay-packets at foreign banks are like. Tuesday, October 16, Enter Fred the Shred.

Now, retail banking is not an easy game and everyone knows that. The average break-even period is years and any bank will have seen at least USD million go down the shit-pipe before it begins making any money.

The deal they understandably put on the table was that in return for a branch licenses, they would pump as much as GBP1billion into India over a 5-year period.

As juicy as the deal seemed, the babus turned it down for fear of being accused by other foreign banks of being unfair. Thats all now well behind them.

Sir Fred "The Shred" Goodwin has been known to be a fighter and has often told colleagues of his desire to have a presence in India.

This deal gives him a comfortable entry into the market. ABN Amro in India has a network of 28 branches in 21 cities and over one million consumer banking customers.

In comparison, recent entrants Deutsche Bank and Barclays have only 10 and four branches respectively. What will be interesting to see is who will be named the India CEO of the combined entity.

Sobti may be given charge of the retail side of the business while Menon heads up the corporate banking and Global Markets businesses.

This will certainly be interesting to see. Posted by Spiel Monkey at 2: Thursday, September 27, Purging Precious Time. Intelligence and the ability to think on your feet is not something that most foreign banks expect of their employees.

Or let me put it this way. Intelligence and the ability to think on your feet is not appreciated by the seniors.

It tends to expose their incompetence. What makes it worse is the fact that people spend days and often even weeks putting together a single PPT.

PPTs should henceforth be referred to as Purging Precious Time as one of my seniors who has quit the industry used to say.

Now you tell me how many hours of precious time might have been purged. At least , man-hours per bank assuming an average time of four hours spent per PPT.

The escapist answer to that is that the Reserve Bank of India has not allowed banks to expand fast enough. The answer to that question, my friend, is blowing in the wind The answer to that question will be put down on PPT and presented to you in a few days.

Got to go now. My boss has asked me to put together a PPT on why some of the members of my team are sauntering into office at 9. Wednesday, September 19, Loan Shark Subbu.

Whats that they say? People who live in glass houses must never throw stones at others?

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